Underwater

Sometimes I feel like I'm underwater
gasping for air like Ive been punched in the chest
by stress motherhood or all the rest
maybe time is what i need
time to think...
...to breathe
or maybe all i need is a moment
a moment in time where everything walks up to me and shouts
"IT'LL BE OKAY"


Sometimes I feel like I'm underwater
without wings..
...you know the kind that make you float...or is it fly
not like a bird but like an angel
flying higher then what is allowed in society
deciding whether to be me....or...
not to be

....when the past is the past and the future is now
and my son is asking who what why when and how
how come people don't understand that your a single mommy
that daddy didn't want me and everyday it rains like its a tsunami
not on me mommy but you....

sometimes I feel like I'm underwater
lungs and heart filled with emotion of what Ive done wrong
but at my age Ive been through what most can say they haven't
Ive wrecked havoc and done my damage
still i have time to do what i can and do what is needed
continuously telling myself
...you are not defeated